Being single is one of the most coveted spots in lifestyle because your open to dating in ways a more serious relationship cannot give you. But how do you find out when you do meet the right guy, if you are stuck in a dead-end relationship? He has all the right qualities that you would want form your partner, and you always have so much fun together but somewhere at the back of your head there is still an underlying and nagging thought that this guy your dating might not actually be the one. Here’s how to check and see if you are in such a relationship and head for the door:
The happy future isn’t in your cards!
Planning for the next stage in your relationship is important, because otherwise you are at risk of labelling it as a “short-term” relationship. The commitment you have towards your partner is demonstrated towards the plans you make together as a couple, which could simply be deciding to do the grocery shopping together over the weekend.
Sometimes, settling for a man is another reason why you cannot picture a happy future with the guy you are presently dating. An act of desperation out of loneliness and snobby societal pressure can even lead to depression and disgust over your actions. Give yourself a break and break-up, because this is one relationship that will never have a happy ending.
There is no sex-life/all there is in your life as a couple is sex!
A certain level of intimacy is required to maintain a relationship, and this cannot be achieved from a purely “no-strings-attached” sexual relationship, as crudely satisfying as it might be for you. For a healthy and balanced relationship to work, you need to make sure that you and your lover have room for sex. Men might be reluctant to move the relationship forwards and onwards to the next level, if they aren’t wholly content with the relationship because this is an important facet to dating life.
He is surrounded by divorce and single-men!
Sometimes the society you are brought up in, and keep going back to, shapes who you are as a person. Being around divorced couples too much, for example divorced parents, can leave the guy with a lack of trust in relationships. Ensure that his role models are different here – talk to him about the trust issues he has, and try to find him a more happy environment to belong in.
Don’t be afraid of disagreements and fights! Real issues need to be talked about in a relationship. If his finances are in trouble, and he doesn’t have his act together, and his society acts as a blueprint for all his actions, it means you both are in deep trouble romantically. Making him a part of your world can really help in changing such irksome behaviours!
Sometimes a non-traditional approach works here so even if he finds the idea of calling you his girlfriend right-away, or pronouncing lavish declarations of love, stifling then it doesn’t mean that your relationship is meant to end. No it doesn’t…it’s never too late to go on your first date!
Marriage isn’t his thing!
If he has told you that he isn’t the marrying kind, then it’s time to wake up and take a reality check. He’s never going to change for you. Many women choose to neglect or overlook this character attribute, despite being in-the-know because romantic comedies and novels, often give into an illusionary feeling that the man they are dating could just be one of those “reformed bad boys” – if he doesn’t seem like he is to you when you are dating him, then it’s time to leave because he isn’t what you are looking for!
There is no need to act needy if you are one of those lucky girls dating a potential “reformed bad boy” – when you find yourself dating a man who seems to be open to change of perception towards marriage, you have to put in considerable amount of work for the reforms to take place. This starts with having your own life and making sure that he is aware of it. Introduce him to your people – friends, work mates, family – this helps to bridge a personal connection with your boyfriend. Once you both become important parts of each other’s lives, he will be more open to listening to you and what you would like to have from the relationship.
You do not have time for a relationship!
Me-time, hanging out with friends, clubbing till late at night, are all great but you need to make some room for your boyfriend too. The relationship you have needs to be a priority as well, he needs to matter to you romantically, not just as a friend. Despite the many claims that the secret ingredient to a successful relationship is friendship and romance, many women forget to balance both. You have to make it obvious that you like your boyfriend!