Going on the first date is a challenge for many girls. You have no idea how the guy might turn out to be like as you pick on your shrimps and salad with fun, grace and charm. What if he is the most handsome guy you have ever had the fortune of speaking to?…he could be the perfect guy just on his ability to talk endlessly about wine, for a start! But what if he is some freak who has no sense of table-manners or how to wear a tie?…imagine sitting across a dude with spinach stuck inbetween his teeth, talking about how amazing his summer camp experience 15 years ago was (“so many women, dawg!”) = endearing? Mmm, I think not!
There is nothing to panic about here, just put more thought into how all of the flirting back-and-front for the last couple of days could finally hit momentum, if you are lucky. But you do need some go-getters, like the right outfit, a good number of subjects to talk about, interesting ones of course, if kissing on the first date would be fine with you, and keeping your restaurant-manners in check – table-manners, as a matter of fact, should be flawless.
What to wear?
Nothing too spunky and bright on the first date. Nothing too provocative. And most definitely nothing too offbeat/indie/avant-garde. Sometimes playing it safe can just be the best trick in the dating rule book. No need to scare off your date with a hat that resembles an oversized Peppa Pig or a golden dress so tight, you look like you are wearing a bloody cast while sitting! Wear something elegant, confident or romantic/passionate. Good colours to include are red, pink, black, blue, white, emerald green, pale yellow and ivory. Flirty dresses, a streamlined silhouette, a cardigan atop a miniskirt, a jacket, a glitter-infused t-shirt and jeans, tailored trousers and a fancy blouse are all good choices. You can pick your own shoes – boots, sneakers, high heels, ballerinas are all cool.
What to expect?
Nothing much. Just turn up on time, this is the worst possible scene to do a “fashionably late”. Make sure you know the way to wherever the two of you decided on going on the first date. If it’s a restaurant, then check out the way on Google Maps. If it’s the park, then make sure to check the subway times. When you get to, let’s say the restaurant you both decided on going out on a date to, practice on being calm and try your level-best to channel positivity. Don’t bore your date with “Oh I just know that most women in the world get cheated on, but the moment I met you, I knew you would be different for me!…I can vouch for that actually!…well, I kind of can! Haha!” = this is a drama-queen and no guy likes these!
What about the ex-boyfriends?
Not on the first date. Don’t talk about so much personal details with a guy you are still making up your mind about going out on a date with. Don’t croon praises about them, or act incessantly nasty towards them. Who knows? All things going swell, could mean this guy could end up being your boyfriend. That means that he can say a lot about how you would look at him or talk about him with other guys, in the future. If the topic comes up just say “I dated these couple of guys, but my longest was, 6 months ago with John. It just didn’t go all that amazing in the end as I had hoped but I’m all cool with all of it!”
What to fill the conversations with?
Talk about the food. Talk about the restaurant, if he picked the place then comment on how much you are enjoying it here. If you aren’t a big fan of the place so far, then focus on talking about something you enjoyed conversing with him about, like his beloved grandmother’s vegetable patch, for example. It’s totally alright to not be cool with an entirely vegetarian restaurant – spicy tofu, carrots, corn, cherry tomatoes, soybeans and greens is hardly ideal first-date food!
Other than that, talk about what you like to do in your spare time – if you love to knit, then that is a good topic to talk about. Oh and offer to split the tab, if you liked the spicy herbs that much, or just smile, be grateful and accommodate having your tab being picked up – some men can be pretty chivalrous in this arena – quite the lucky girl! When you are done with the first date, remember to expect less – this is just the first date. You still do not know a great deal about each other, so wait until you’ve scored enough to head onto Date #2.
What do they get upto on FB?
FB can give you clues about what kind of a date, your date really is and whether or not, you will ever be appreciative of his choices enough to see him again. Does he love ‘Cars’ magazine? Does he enjoy football? Is he hooked onto ‘Candy Crush’ ? Does he like Nirvana? Is his favourite movie ‘Meet the Parents’? Does he still adore ‘PPG’? Was his first love Scarlett Johansson? Does he love.love.love.love. ‘Family Guy’? = they are all great!…but wait, he also likes FHM babes? That’s a problem there because which girl likes to compete with Perry off Little Mix’s a**e in a skimpy bikini for affection now. Right, a no go then!
Girls tend to not appreciate of the idea of sharing their boyfriend, in anyway, at all. So when they catch you peek into the latest issue of a lads mag, they will wonder what is there so educational or interesting in it for you to flaunt like a favourite past-time? Does he love the photos too-much? Then he’s better-suited to a ‘bachelor pad’ lifestyle, still! Leave him to enjoy it, all of it, in peace – he must love the posters and all the pizzaz that comes with it tonnes! If you ask him too much about it, then he might think you are interfering too much or could just lie that it ‘accidentally’ went up there on his FB! Honestly, if a guy cannot even bother to worry about how a girl he just went out on a date with, will perceive him, then he is most definitely not worth that second tab!
Drink and flirt?
Do this but don’t overdo it. None of those playing around with cherries and wine. But you can most certainly compliment on his choice of wine or the meal this time around, for the two of you! You can tell him how much you appreciate the tobacco-flavour of the wine, and thank him for caring enough to pick it out for you! You can tell him that you love toffee-wine because you like anything that has toffee in it, that you are happy you know a guy who doesn’t think that toffee wine isn’t a manly concoction for a date – and that you are glad that he actually enjoys it too! If he can’t handle you drinking fine early in the evening, then quite clearly he isn’t mature enough to go out with you yet – who wants to be with a dude that whines about vodka on a date now?
Purse-strings too tight?
It’s fine second date material to just go for a picnic in the park, with sandwiches you made yourself. Or just go for a walk in the crisp autumn afternoon. There are plenty of things you can do that won’t cost you a penny at all, but will be double the fun.
Some other ideas include: reading books together at the library, watching a movie together at his place, going to an indie-festival where admission is usually free, going to the beach, watching his garage band play music and wishing you had something to drink to forget the music, volunteering together to raise money this Christmas in front of ‘House of Fraser’ (and wishing you had something to drink for a more exhilarating date-experience!), riding the roller-coaster together at your local festival (nothing can be more exhilarating than that!), attending a concert together of a band neither of you have ever heard of before, attending a football match together (it’s fine if it’s just a match at your school!), playing solitaire/UNO together, playing video games together, watching ‘The Simpsons’ together and going to the St. Patrick’s Day celebrations – the carnivals are tonnes of fun!
When you do get the chance to converse with your date, make sure that the conversation is happening both ways. It’s very interesting to learn about your new interest in baking, but let him talk sometimes too. Who knows you might find his fascination with kites, amazing?